Got this from the Barbara Roberts - Not Under Bondage page. Thanks so much!

When being sorry is genuine

If they are genuinely repentant, abusers will:

Stop all blame-shifting. Stop blaming their spouse. Stop making excuses.
Commit to going to a professionally run Behaviour Change Group for spouse-abusers.
Admit, confess and accept responsibility for all their abuse, in full detail.
Identify the attitudes that drive their abusiveness.
Relinquish their attitudes of entitlement and superiority over their partner, even the last bastion and stronghold of their selfish sense of entitlement.
Be accountable to group leaders, probation officers, courts, and any others who are overseeing their actions and attitudes.
Accept the consequences of their actions.
Resist feeling sorry for themselves if they have to pay consequences.
Be honest and non-manipulative in their communication.
Be empathetic to the multiple and long-lasting effects of their abuse on the partner and children.
Attempt to right the wrongs by restoring losses which they've caused to their victims.
Allow the hurt partner and children to take as much time as they need to heal.
Not attempt to use behavioural improvements as bargaining chips.
Not demand credit for behavioural improvements.
Carry their own weight in all matters, including parenting.
Develop respectful, kind, supportive behaviours.
Change how they respond to the grievances of their partners.
Accept that overcoming abusiveness will be a decades-long process.

1 Samuel 19:10