This is a very informative website and I am sharing in hopes it may help.....
Domestic Violence
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
The mind of a serial abuser.....
I was watching an interesting show on the Investigation Discovery channel called "My Brother the Serial Killer". It was about a man from Kentucky named Glen Rogers, who went on a cross-country killing spree in the 80's. He claimed he had killed 70 people, mostly women.
What struck me when I watched this show was that men who murder women have several things in common. Generally they have an abusive childhood in a dysfunctional family. And they usually have an intense and deep-seated hatred of their mother.
Although the bagad has yet to physically murder a woman, all of his relationships show his hatred of them. Women are not unique and special people to him, they are the representation of "the mother". Like a serial killer, the bagad has learned to charm his way into their lives so he can "rule over them" as tyrant and despot. At the point of his being in my life, it had only been verbal, but since he has been arrested for battery perhaps it has escalated. Beware ladies, the moment his facade of a life has been exposed, you must be put away. You no longer serve the functions of sexual release and caretaker, you now become a liability. And that's all you are - he does not care for you one bit. His only purpose for getting to know what you may like is to manipulate you, not because he gets any joy out of your joy.
No matter how the bagad has acted or what he says, he HATES his mother. She may be dead, but his hatred is still part of who he is. She abandoned him to the father who then abused him, and that is why he hates her. And why he hates all women. Mommy failed in her duty to protect the child and she must pay.....through other women.
I have always thought he could easily become a murderer, but he fears crossing that line. His daddy did show him he could demean and degrade a woman and she would stay, just like harry's relationship with June. The bagad constantly asked me how a man could make a woman stay with someone who was a scumbag, and I told him it was all about bribery. But that didn't work with me, I was sold out to love and you can't bribe someone who doesn't have what you want. Because I was so naive about abuse, I thought he would actually change. That's why I stayed five years....but after reading Patricia Evans book, I realized he wouldn't change.
The bagad is a murderer in his heart. He seeks to destroy any woman he is with by verbally abusing her. He is deceptive and manipulative, trying his best to remove the woman from her family (her source of support). He tries to re-create his mother's abandonment by telling the woman not to associate with her children, just like he experienced with his mommy. Then his hate and mistreatment of them is justified in his very sick mind.
Yeshua says that the one who is angry is as much a sinner as the murderer. Matthew 5:22-24 There are many, many scriptures in regards to uncontrolled anger such as the bagad has exhibited. Were he the man he says he is, he would repent. Sadly, there are more men like him on this earth than there are good, decent, GOD-fearing men. Sorry to say that....in my maturity I have just seen too much.
So, on this Thanksgiving Day, 2012, I thank the LORD for delivering me from the treacherous one I was once with. I also pray, LORD, that you continue to keep those women in Your care who encounter the bagad. Expose his deception quickly and let them know You love them; not to listen to his lies that they are worthless.
What struck me when I watched this show was that men who murder women have several things in common. Generally they have an abusive childhood in a dysfunctional family. And they usually have an intense and deep-seated hatred of their mother.
Although the bagad has yet to physically murder a woman, all of his relationships show his hatred of them. Women are not unique and special people to him, they are the representation of "the mother". Like a serial killer, the bagad has learned to charm his way into their lives so he can "rule over them" as tyrant and despot. At the point of his being in my life, it had only been verbal, but since he has been arrested for battery perhaps it has escalated. Beware ladies, the moment his facade of a life has been exposed, you must be put away. You no longer serve the functions of sexual release and caretaker, you now become a liability. And that's all you are - he does not care for you one bit. His only purpose for getting to know what you may like is to manipulate you, not because he gets any joy out of your joy.
No matter how the bagad has acted or what he says, he HATES his mother. She may be dead, but his hatred is still part of who he is. She abandoned him to the father who then abused him, and that is why he hates her. And why he hates all women. Mommy failed in her duty to protect the child and she must pay.....through other women.
I have always thought he could easily become a murderer, but he fears crossing that line. His daddy did show him he could demean and degrade a woman and she would stay, just like harry's relationship with June. The bagad constantly asked me how a man could make a woman stay with someone who was a scumbag, and I told him it was all about bribery. But that didn't work with me, I was sold out to love and you can't bribe someone who doesn't have what you want. Because I was so naive about abuse, I thought he would actually change. That's why I stayed five years....but after reading Patricia Evans book, I realized he wouldn't change.
The bagad is a murderer in his heart. He seeks to destroy any woman he is with by verbally abusing her. He is deceptive and manipulative, trying his best to remove the woman from her family (her source of support). He tries to re-create his mother's abandonment by telling the woman not to associate with her children, just like he experienced with his mommy. Then his hate and mistreatment of them is justified in his very sick mind.
Yeshua says that the one who is angry is as much a sinner as the murderer. Matthew 5:22-24 There are many, many scriptures in regards to uncontrolled anger such as the bagad has exhibited. Were he the man he says he is, he would repent. Sadly, there are more men like him on this earth than there are good, decent, GOD-fearing men. Sorry to say that....in my maturity I have just seen too much.
So, on this Thanksgiving Day, 2012, I thank the LORD for delivering me from the treacherous one I was once with. I also pray, LORD, that you continue to keep those women in Your care who encounter the bagad. Expose his deception quickly and let them know You love them; not to listen to his lies that they are worthless.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Yes LORD!!!!!!!!
I wake up in the morning and absolutely love YOU, my LORD!
Life is good. May I live it to glorify YOUR Name!
Hallelujah!
Life is good. May I live it to glorify YOUR Name!
Hallelujah!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The L_RD's Justice
I just found out that the Deming, New Mexico police arrested my ex on an outstanding Wyoming warrant of battery against a household member. This was five years almost to the day (same weekend of the Labor Day holiday) that he frightened me enough with his tyrannical, ridiculous demand to severe all communication with my adult daughter that I left his house. And I made the choice to say "NO" to such nonsense, knowing that division is the devil's tool and love is of GOD. Nothing of his demand (see His Own Words post at very beginning of my blog) had any love in it - nothing.
I pray no one was hurt during what I am sure was one of his Mr. Hyde tyraids. Was it an attempt to separate his new wife from her family, or did she assert her own will and he "lost it"? I've no idea what it was. I'm certain he tried to do what he watched daddy harry do with his wife/victim June - keep the woman isolated, try to keep her financially dependent, limit contact with family to reduce emotional support. Sadly, a woman who doesn't know the tactics of an abuser has no idea these often subtle manipulations are being used on her. When she comes to realize it, it may be too late. Women like me, who trust others naively, simply can't believe another person could be so cruelly manipulative. June, the bagad's (Hebrew for treacherous one, what I call my ex) stepmother, to this day has no idea that she was a victim of abuse. She simply believed she didn't deserve to be treated respectfully, and even made excuses for harry's nasty words and his tyraids against her. Another sign of an abused woman.
One of the things I remembered of my time with the bagad was that I had considered having eye surgery done that would have cost $5,000 to $7,000. He offered to pay for that and at first I agreed. I had even made an appointment to have it done in Houston - many miles away from El Paso. The closer it got to the surgery date, the more I heard from the LORD not to do it. And it had nothing to do with the actual surgery - it had everything to do with my financial and emotional indebtedness to the bagad. Imagine, had I tried to say goodbye owing him the payment for my eyes! He would have told me: "This is how you treat me, after what I did for you?" "If you leave, you'll have to pay me back." Any number of statements meant to either invoke guilt or fear of not having the money to repay him. So I canceled the surgery, and am so grateful I was obedient to what the LORD was telling me! What appeared to be a loving and generous gesture by him was actually a calculated move to keep me in debt to him. That is how people like him operate.
So, was he taken to Wyoming to answer for his crime? I hope so. Is his wife still with him? I hope not. He has become so crafty in learning how to manipulate a woman that, like a serial killer, he can easily pick his victims now. But the time between crimes becomes shorter and shorter. He can't control those urges of destruction he has and they emerge sooner and sooner. I do pray that any woman he comes in contact with can see through his deception quickly. And I pray no one becomes a true victim of physical murder. I honestly believe he is capable of that. Women are simply objects to him - they fulfill a function of sex and taking care of him. He also needs to control them so he can make them feel horrible - the woman being the archetypal mother who betrayed and abandoned him to his raging father. As I have said before, a woman's destruction is his primary goal in any of his dealings with them. No matter what he says or does, no matter how "sweet" he appears to be, he wants you to be a quivering mass of fear and submission.
When I look back on my time with him, I can honestly say I was sleeping with the enemy. How grateful I am to have understood what was occurring, to not break the vow I made, and to have learned to grow closer to my beloved Father. I learned not to believe anyone - especially one who claims to be the LORD's mouthpiece. I will only listen to my Father, the Holy Spirit HE has placed in me - the SPIRIT of truth. How do I determine what is truth? To see the Fruits of the SPIRIT in the situation and to go to Scripture. When the bagad said to me: "do not love your daughter", I knew he was not speaking the truth; the LORD would never sanction such a demand. (see the attributes of GOD in Exodus 34:5-7). I have slept with the enemy and have survived. Praise be to GOD!
I pray no one was hurt during what I am sure was one of his Mr. Hyde tyraids. Was it an attempt to separate his new wife from her family, or did she assert her own will and he "lost it"? I've no idea what it was. I'm certain he tried to do what he watched daddy harry do with his wife/victim June - keep the woman isolated, try to keep her financially dependent, limit contact with family to reduce emotional support. Sadly, a woman who doesn't know the tactics of an abuser has no idea these often subtle manipulations are being used on her. When she comes to realize it, it may be too late. Women like me, who trust others naively, simply can't believe another person could be so cruelly manipulative. June, the bagad's (Hebrew for treacherous one, what I call my ex) stepmother, to this day has no idea that she was a victim of abuse. She simply believed she didn't deserve to be treated respectfully, and even made excuses for harry's nasty words and his tyraids against her. Another sign of an abused woman.
One of the things I remembered of my time with the bagad was that I had considered having eye surgery done that would have cost $5,000 to $7,000. He offered to pay for that and at first I agreed. I had even made an appointment to have it done in Houston - many miles away from El Paso. The closer it got to the surgery date, the more I heard from the LORD not to do it. And it had nothing to do with the actual surgery - it had everything to do with my financial and emotional indebtedness to the bagad. Imagine, had I tried to say goodbye owing him the payment for my eyes! He would have told me: "This is how you treat me, after what I did for you?" "If you leave, you'll have to pay me back." Any number of statements meant to either invoke guilt or fear of not having the money to repay him. So I canceled the surgery, and am so grateful I was obedient to what the LORD was telling me! What appeared to be a loving and generous gesture by him was actually a calculated move to keep me in debt to him. That is how people like him operate.
So, was he taken to Wyoming to answer for his crime? I hope so. Is his wife still with him? I hope not. He has become so crafty in learning how to manipulate a woman that, like a serial killer, he can easily pick his victims now. But the time between crimes becomes shorter and shorter. He can't control those urges of destruction he has and they emerge sooner and sooner. I do pray that any woman he comes in contact with can see through his deception quickly. And I pray no one becomes a true victim of physical murder. I honestly believe he is capable of that. Women are simply objects to him - they fulfill a function of sex and taking care of him. He also needs to control them so he can make them feel horrible - the woman being the archetypal mother who betrayed and abandoned him to his raging father. As I have said before, a woman's destruction is his primary goal in any of his dealings with them. No matter what he says or does, no matter how "sweet" he appears to be, he wants you to be a quivering mass of fear and submission.
When I look back on my time with him, I can honestly say I was sleeping with the enemy. How grateful I am to have understood what was occurring, to not break the vow I made, and to have learned to grow closer to my beloved Father. I learned not to believe anyone - especially one who claims to be the LORD's mouthpiece. I will only listen to my Father, the Holy Spirit HE has placed in me - the SPIRIT of truth. How do I determine what is truth? To see the Fruits of the SPIRIT in the situation and to go to Scripture. When the bagad said to me: "do not love your daughter", I knew he was not speaking the truth; the LORD would never sanction such a demand. (see the attributes of GOD in Exodus 34:5-7). I have slept with the enemy and have survived. Praise be to GOD!
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