It truly is a blessing to be a teacher. To have the time to reflect on life, to work on things in the home, to travel, to read the Word of the LORD. I spent all day cooking for my family yesterday. And all the cleaning up that goes with making and serving food. Mmmmm...turkey was good. Seems that every year I make better turkeys; guess that's the whole experience thing.
Having time to read, to listen to my favorite pastors/speakers, to meditate on the TRUTHs that are revealed - it has been a good week.
This morning I was reading in the newspaper that there are a group of Christians that heckle people as they enter a movie theatre, telling them they are entering the realm of satan and they are hell-bound. I thought of the condemnation the bagad (treacherous one in hebrew, my name for the ex) would "preach" to me. How each small infraction I committed would serve to cast me deeper into the burning pit of eternal damnation. Hahaha - even when he was telling me these lies, I laughed inside. I have such absolute assurance that I am the Beloved that all his lies were ridiculous.
I thought of all those who present the LORD as a GOD of wrath, judgement and anger. As if presenting HIM that way will scare people into converting to Christianity? If they truly are in the LORD, how did they come to HIM? Because HE promised them wrath, judgement and anger? No, no, no. It is all about love. Did they not feel HIS mercy, HIS loving kindness, HIS forgiveness, HIS LOVE?! Yet now they tell others that hell is waiting for them if they do not come to the LORD through Yeshua HaMashiach? Well, it is true, but we do not bring others to a tyrant taskmaster, fear is not love. Yet we present GOD as HE is to us - those like the bagad see HIM as vengeful, judgmental and full of wrath. HE is not the same merciful GOD that gave them grace; somehow HE has totally changed. HE has become the executioner, using them as the one to tell others what they "deserve". The sad thing is that in their hearts they are the ones who feel they deserve to be punished - it is their reflection of who the Father is for them. They have once again fallen for the whispered lies of the accuser. They become his mouthpiece.
I envision the part in the Lord of the Rings where the Mouthpiece of Sauron comes to the gates of Mordor, to trick Gandalf and company into believing Frodo has been killed. The huge black mouth of foul spittle spewing out only words of hurt and disappointment, taking pleasure in the pain the words created. How I cheered when Aragon chopped his head off! When I think of the foul things the bagad would say to me, I see the same darkness. The same joy in thinking he was destroying my spirit with his deceit and lies. I felt the same roar of triumph within me when he told me to leave! What a blessing!
Many learned pastors have made this point clear: that you cannot give what you do not have - no love in your heart means no love can be given. That your relationship with the Father is the single most important thing that defines your current state. And why is this? Because, again, as we are so prone to do, we believe the lies instead of the TRUTH. All you need do is read Exodus 34:6,7 where GOD HIMSELF defines HIS character and attributes. Of course you inherit the inequity of your ancestry if you have not abandoned your earthly inheritance - yet we have a new covenant and inheritance in Christ. Hebrews 9:15 And just because your parents have died DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOW FREE of their inheritance. You must very consciously confront it and reject it, repenting for their sins. The bagad's daddy taught him how to control and abuse a woman, and he continues in that inheritance. He is not dead to that, he has not brought that to the cross and it is not covered in the Blood of the Lamb. Only when that happens will he be free and be a renewed man in that area of his life. Until such a time that he forgives his mommy, he will also never be a man - living only as a vengeful, destructive boy. I still feel a deep sense of sympathy for his new, unsuspecting wife.
I have so much to be thankful for! I am so grateful for my family, for my friends, for my students. For the opportunity to live in a country that is free. For all the blessings and favor my beloved Father has rained down on me. I can only accept with deep appreciation, and love others as HE has shown me love. This I cannot do on my own, HIS SPIRIT guides me every moment of every day. Toda raba!
