Just found out that the bagad (treacherous one) lost both his earthly parents within about 2 months of each other last year. His daddy's passing didn't even merit an obituary - of course, harry's funds were far less than the funds of his former wife, who demanded her death be venerated in the style she believed she deserved. All bowed down to queen rey.
It was one of the weirdest things when I came to get my son's things from the bagad's house and he asked me if "anything had changed" (in regards to my considering returning to him?). I asked him if anything had changed in his life that I might consider returning and he said "do you mean, did my parents die?" What was that supposed to mean??
Now I can understand his somewhat twisted mind a little better. I can only assume that he believes he is free of all the baggage he inherited from his parents if they are no longer present on this earth. Therefore, if they are dead, he is free. That's why he remarried soon after their deaths.
But he cannot face the inheritance he lives in; the truth that he has not divested himself of his earthly parent's sin just because they are dead. He has not faced the pain, he has not truly (in his heart) forgiven them their neglect and selfishness; and he carries a deep, dark bitter root within him.
He hates women. They all represent the abandoning whore who was his mother, and he re-creates the relationship he had with his mommy with a woman. He puts her into a situation where she must make a choice - pick the man or the child. If she picks the child, he loses, moving on to that one woman who will pick him. If she abandons the child, she loses (like his stepmother June, who harry manipulated out of a relationship with her children) . But I can guarantee any woman who cuts ties with her "wicked children" will be admonished at some future date for being a bad mother and abandoning her children for a man.
It is complicated, and he simply can't think past the pain of his childhood to just rest in the embrace of his loving, accepting heavenly Father. He will always carry the bitterness with him, lashing out at the world for his "sad past". Living past-present rather than present-future. He has condemned himself to a life of manipulation, control, and rebellion. He truly is just like daddy harry - the more I got to know him, the more I saw him in his son.
Like king saul, the bagad has opened the door to evil by lying and deceiving. He lies to keep up the pretense of being a "good christian", when in his house he demeans and terrorizes those who live there. And like king saul, he will fall upon his own sword. The sword in the Bible represents words that are spoken, and his own words will be his downfall.
I do pray he will come to repentance and allow Yeshua to heal him. That he reject his earthly inheritance and accept the inheritance the L_RD offers him. Yet I know he believes he has done no wrong, it is always "the others" that are the sinners, the ones who have victimized him, the ones who need to change. No, it is never he who needs to repent, for he is the righteous and super spiritual......... pharisee.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Freely you have received, freely give....
Our L_RD Yeshua spoke these words to HIS disciples. HE was speaking of love, mercy and grace.
This morning, as I was thinking of the passing of my fourth anniversary of my Yom Choofsha (Day of Freedom in Hebrew), I thought of the nasty person I left to his own devices. The bagad (treacherous one in Hebrew) lives the life of a pharisee. He wrote a song about one - he thought it was about his boss, but he was writing it about himself. How interesting that we see our own sins so easily in others.
Yeshua came to give us love, mercy and grace. We deserve death. That does not change.
Yet pharisees somehow believe that love, mercy and grace stops after it is given to them. The bagad is full of wrath, judgment and condemnation for others. He despises homosexuals, hoping they will be subject to eternal damnation. He despises me, and all women, believing they should be punished for his mother's lack. He honestly thinks he is the mouthpiece of the Father.
He IS the mouthpiece of the father. The father of lies, wrath, judgment, legalism. He is the pharisee who misrepresents a good, kind, merciful, LOVING GOD to the rest of the world. I have come to understand my Savior's wrath towards such deceit and treachery. If the bagad has changed, it is good. The fires of hell are not something I would wish upon anyone, even the bagad. But in his self-righteousness, I doubt that he has changed. He tries so very hard to be someone he is not. The appearance of a good, loving, self-sacrificing Christian. But his heart is black and murderous, full of rage and self-focus. I am so grateful, L_RD, to be free of his oppressive tyranny.
Thank you, my Beloved Savior, for Your love, mercy and grace. And yes, as YOU have given me, may I give to others. It is difficult to give to those like the bagad, yet YOUR love, mercy and grace are the same for him as they are for all. It is YOU in me that allows me to love, for I could never do that of my own will. THAT is a good and awesome realization!
This morning, as I was thinking of the passing of my fourth anniversary of my Yom Choofsha (Day of Freedom in Hebrew), I thought of the nasty person I left to his own devices. The bagad (treacherous one in Hebrew) lives the life of a pharisee. He wrote a song about one - he thought it was about his boss, but he was writing it about himself. How interesting that we see our own sins so easily in others.
Yeshua came to give us love, mercy and grace. We deserve death. That does not change.
Yet pharisees somehow believe that love, mercy and grace stops after it is given to them. The bagad is full of wrath, judgment and condemnation for others. He despises homosexuals, hoping they will be subject to eternal damnation. He despises me, and all women, believing they should be punished for his mother's lack. He honestly thinks he is the mouthpiece of the Father.
He IS the mouthpiece of the father. The father of lies, wrath, judgment, legalism. He is the pharisee who misrepresents a good, kind, merciful, LOVING GOD to the rest of the world. I have come to understand my Savior's wrath towards such deceit and treachery. If the bagad has changed, it is good. The fires of hell are not something I would wish upon anyone, even the bagad. But in his self-righteousness, I doubt that he has changed. He tries so very hard to be someone he is not. The appearance of a good, loving, self-sacrificing Christian. But his heart is black and murderous, full of rage and self-focus. I am so grateful, L_RD, to be free of his oppressive tyranny.
Thank you, my Beloved Savior, for Your love, mercy and grace. And yes, as YOU have given me, may I give to others. It is difficult to give to those like the bagad, yet YOUR love, mercy and grace are the same for him as they are for all. It is YOU in me that allows me to love, for I could never do that of my own will. THAT is a good and awesome realization!
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