In his own words

I am attaching the letter he left me on my Yom Choofsha (Day of Freedom in Hebrew). It was on our bed with his 5-inch ponytail he had cut off. Apparently I no longer was attentive enough to straightening his kinky hair with a flat iron every time he washed it. When I came home that Friday, ready to enjoy my Labor Day weekend, this letter and his symbol of my lack was laying there. I elected to leave and let him cool off, but he let me know I didn't need to return. He stood in front of me, threatening to not allow my departure, but I think he could sense I was about to knee him in his sensitive parts. He followed me out to the car in the garage and grabbed me as I was getting in, trying to kiss me after he proclaimed "I divorce you" three times.
Hallelujah!
It was the beginning of my freedom from the tyranny of intimidation, manipulation, fear, guilt, and deception. (By the way, it was never "our home". In our five years of marriage, he never put my name on the deed. Classic controlling behavior....)
So here are his own words. Judge for yourself.


Rosemary,
I regret to inform you that we have reached a point where you need to make a choice. The choices you have are this:
1) You can recognize my authority (I am here by claiming in writing!) as your husband
or
2) You can choose to continue to live your life recognizing your grown daughter as your best friend, instead of as someone who you were supposed to rebuke and correct.

From your actions & words this morning, it appears you are making a statement that says you have authority to decide to over rule simple requests I have made concerning who is in our home, without our permission, during our absence.

I do not recall revoking a clearly stated desire that I do not want Daniel in our home when we are not here. (This was at the time of their last breakup, or the one before that) However, the authority I have in making such a request is not respected.

Earlier in the week a letter was delivered to our house. A strange thing happened when I put that letter on the kitchen table. The words “Lies & Deception” appeared in my head. I was so strong, that I wrote a note on the outside of the envelope, asking you to tell me about the contents of the letter. I asked politely. AGAIN, NO AUTHORITY! You have not responded to my simple request. You simply choose to ignore my authority. What are you hiding????? I hope it was only an advertisement.

So you have a choice to make. You can be my wife and respect my authority, or you can choose to sacrifice the rest of your life for your daughter.
If you choose dedicating your life to the dreams of your daughter, there will be no room for me.
Especially if it involves the need to lie. I love you and hope you choose to respect me.
I understand (and will not hate you) if you choose to be dedicated to your daughter. If the latter is your choice, then we should not waste any more time arguing. We will recognize it is what it is, and move on.
In exercising my authority, I am requesting all house keys for 304 Egret to be returned with the exception of keys given to you & Austin. Give me your decision as soon as you have made it.

Hopefully,
Mario



(Written and presented on August 31, 2007 by Mario LaFragola, currently of Deming, NM)